Why Not a Real Munster for the Reboot of The Munsters?

Word is beginning to leak out regarding who will portray the classic characters of the Munsters in NBC’s upcoming reboot of the 1960s comedy series, to be entitled Mockingbird Lane. (So what would have been so terrible about calling it The Munsters? At least NBC opted not to go the route Disney took with John Carter of Mars, which they shortened to just plain John Carter, not one of their better marketing moves of recent years; the Peacock Network, thankfully, did not choose to call their series The Mun.) Actor Eddie Izzard will apparently play the role of Grandpa Munster, and British actress Charity Wakefield is slated to portray the family’s “ugly duckling,” Marilyn Munster.

However, the big roles of Herman Munster and Lily Munster have yet to be cast. In the original series, Lily Munster was portrayed by the ravishingly beautiful Yvonne De Carlo, veteran actress of some of the biggest films of Hollywood’s Golden Age, including The Ten Commandments. So who should play Lily in the new version?


Why not a real Munster? Why not actress and plus-size model Tess Munster?

I mean, come on, why not? She’s already shown she’s got some acting chops. She’s got an appealing biography, having survived Hurricane Katrina in coastal Mississippi in 2005 and then gone on to a successful plus-size modeling career (overcoming the considerable skepticism of her family), later launching her acting career with the starring role in A&E’s real-life drama Heavy. Plus, she’s a blogger! What’s not to like?

But most important of all, can’t you just imagine the look on Herman Munster’s face should Tess become Lily? Hey, guys, wouldn’t you look like a love-smitten moose in Herman’s shoes, too?

42 comments

  1. […] ANDREW FOX: Hey, as long as you’re rebooting The Munsters, why not cast a real Munster? […]

  2. Abort all Liberals says:

    Yeah, the fat broad will sure bring the viewers flocking. She needs more tattoos – we can still see her face.

    • Andrew says:

      Come, come, sir — these are the MUNSTERS, the epitome of “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” Besides, many red-blooded American males (including your modest host) would strongly disagree with your characterization of Ms. Munster’s charms.

      • Chubby chasers are more rare then often stated. Beauty is objective, not subjective.

        Most guys end up with fat women because that is all that is available anymore- as many of the guys are fat too. Yay for corn subsidies.

        • Andrew says:

          Beauty can be, and often has been, quantified in objective terms (symmetry is an important element). But what constitutes “attractiveness” to individuals is far more variable than what is socially and aesthetically defined as “beautiful.” Also, in this context, one of the most charming aspects of the original THE MUNSTERS series was how it turned standards of beauty and social appropriateness on their heads, with the titular family members being blissfully unaware of how different their own standards were from those of their neighbors. I think Tess Munster might fit quite well into that sort of milieu.

          • John says:

            Dude, you are such an English major.

            She’s fat. Nobody wants to see that!

            Anymore than women want to watch a romantic comedy with Danny Devito as the male lead.

            She wouldn’t fit on any Hollywood promotional poster.

            Literally.

          • Andrew says:

            Umm, hello, this is THE MUNSTERS we’re talking about, not the Miss Universe Pageant. If you’re a fan of Silver Age Superman, think the Bizarro World. (And some of us actually live in little Bizarro Worlds of our own, at least according to many. But we’re allowed to — this is America!) And hey, if the Hollywood promotion posters aren’t big enough to fit Ms. Munster, then, by all means, make them bigger!

          • John says:

            @Andrew

            NBC doesn’t care about social appropriateness or challenging societal standards of beauty.

            They care about making money.

            Hot actresses draw guys. And guys are half your viewing audience.

            How many guys do you know that want to see Kathy Bates, Rosie O’Donnell or Rossanne Barr do anything?

          • Andrew says:

            Kathy Bates is a terrific actress and a fine comedian. Quite a few men, I’m sure, have enjoyed her performances in films such as MISERY. The latter two you mention are not to my taste, but they obviously please some audiences.

    • Sigivald says:

      Stay classy.

    • Rea Lindsey says:

      I wish I could suffocate you with my fat. :3

    • Kate says:

      Ms. Munster is an inspiring person, a lovely soul, and an exquisitely beautiful woman. You can be damn sure she’ll attract audiences to see any film.

  3. Sloan says:

    I think she’s quite lovely. A bit on the heavy side for my taste, but some people like that sort of thing.

  4. Diggs says:

    John Kerry is perfect for Hermann Munster.

  5. DirtCrashr says:

    She’s a Paleo Aphrodite, not some skinny stick-girl who barfs in a bucket to stay thin.

    • Andrew says:

      And since Herman is portrayed as a bit of a caveman himself, what could be more appropriate for him as a mate than a Paleo Aphrodite?

  6. marian says:

    A plus-size model who is actually plus-sized. A marvel!
    I hadn’t heard that they were remaking the Munsters. Thanks for the update.

  7. Rackburn says:

    Okay, so like or dislike the body type, the character of Lily was never the sexy character; played by a sexy actress, but not so sexy in makeup and not played that way. She’s a foil for the comedy in a comedy show. My issue with Tess Muster is that she’s too young for the role of mother to Charity Wakefield who was born in 1980.

  8. roger h says:

    Stephan Merchant and have him act like Stephan Merchant and not like original Herman.

  9. Lori says:

    I like the idea. If I recall correctly, Lily was a vampire, so age is irrelevant, and the last thing the world needs is another undernourished vampire. Eddie’s also too young to play Grandpa, but he will no doubt be magnificent. 🙂

  10. Tess says:

    Well, I’m personally flattered, and yes, I AM FAT. Guess what? I’M ALSO SEXY and would never be caught dead with any of you small minded pricks! 🙂 So you all can kindly kiss my fat ass! 🙂 To the other’s who were kind, I appreciate you and how you are able to look outside of the “box” and find beauty everywhere!

    • Andrew says:

      Hi, Tess, welcome to my blog! I certainly enjoyed discovering your blog. I apologize for some of the comments that my post attracted; the ones that were at least semi-rational, I tried reasoning with. The ones that were completely over the line, I dumped into the Trash Box without bothering to respond to. Anyway, come on back and visit anytime, and best of luck with your modeling and acting careers. And who knows, maybe this post will filter back to the right people at NBC, and they’ll think — “Hey! What a FAB idea!”

    • Andrew says:

      Oh, one more thing — we used to be near-neighbors. My family and I lived for many years in New Orleans and used to make weekend trips to the Mississippi Gulf Coast all the time. We were very familiar with Biloxi, Gulfport, Bay St. Louis, and Waveland. It tore my heart out to see what Katrina did to so much of the Mississippi Coast and to much of New Orleans. We were very fortunate to be living on the West Bank, so were escaped the flooding, but still had to replace our roof. Anyway, be well!

  11. Tess says:

    OH..and another JOHN: I was on billboards and promo’s across the country and guess what? I FIT JUST FINE. Idiot.

  12. Erin says:

    I’m pretty disgusted with some of these comments. Who f**king cares if somebody is fat or not? What kind of message are you sending your daughters and sisters and mothers that if they’re fat, they’re f**king disgusting sub-humans who deserve to be shunned? Tess Munster is f**king beautiful, and I’d definitely rather be fat than a person with an ugly enough personality to try to shame somebody for their appearance. VIVA LA TESS!

    • Andrew says:

      Erin, while I appreciate the strength of your passion (and agree with it, as well), I had to ***** out some of your language. I run a PG blog here… sometimes my own kids get on and take a look, and other kids do, too. Anyway, I hope you’ll come back and visit again. And check out my Jules Duchon vampire books, too. You might like them. They’ve been described as “Anne Rice meets A CONFEDERACY OF DUNCES.”

  13. Sara says:

    So. The only reason you guys watched the Munsters was to jack off to Lily? If that’s your issue, you need to stop and think for a minute. I don’t think Tess is right for the part, but it has nothing to do with her size. She is a perfect specimen of human beauty. And way more than half of men would f**k a woman on the heavier side, especially when she’s as gorgeous as Tess. Your perceptions of what beauty is supposed to be are tainted by the porn you have on your desktop. Loud squeaks, flat tits and bared ribs aren’t sexy.

  14. HH says:

    I dont think people comment and consider the woman in question might just see these posts and the reflect upon ignorant, hurtful, comments posted.

    Just because you dont like the way someone looks, does not make them less of a human being open to attack. It does not give you a right to become a rude bully and debase them – even if that is ‘your opinion’.

    If you cant say anything nice or constructive, then shut the f**k up and move onto the next article.

    The insults are as cliche and mundane as my response to them.

    ANYWAYS, I think she’d be fab as part of the Munster family. They should create a new character just for her!

  15. Jordan says:

    Beautiful.

  16. Chelsey says:

    She is BEAUTIFUL! If she were to be cast as Lily Munster, I would watch her any day! 🙂

  17. neamhni says:

    Yeah, because Dat_Truth_Hurts would not only know that beauty is objective (because he is the head of the Beauty Police Department and also has a fine grasp on the definition of words) but also that unhealthy, steroid-filled, zero-fat, over-muscled bodies are the only ones that qualify as beautiful.

    Yep, yep.

  18. thetinyhobo says:

    Tess would do a fabulous job in the role! Why not cast a modern woman for a modern remake? The Munsters have always been a VERY alternative family…so seeing some alternative body types would only make sense to me, especially in this day and age where people are constantly bickering over what’s “normal”. If you’re a Munster, why the hell would you want to look “normal”?!?!

    Thanks for featuring Tess, she’s really a fantastic woman! ♥

  19. Tess is full of it says:

    YOU might want to research your writing before you do so much ass kissing. Tess is NOT an actress. She she is an average plus model who got extraordinarily lucky and was chosen to do an ad campaign(due to that averageness, btw) for the tv show “Heavy” but has never appeared on *ANY* tv show. And if her same 3 facial expressions/4 poses in every super airbrushed photo she’s ever been in is any indication, I seriously doubt she’d have much of an acting career.

    That being said, Tess is a mediocre model who pretends to be Ms. Pretty-n-plus size sweetheart but snarks other types of alt models(read her twitter) and isn’t completely honest about her ‘followers’ about her pictures(look at some of the incessantly self re-posted ones and then look at her blog, you see some are the behind the scenes and you’ll see how airbrushed her face shape and legs are or how the self pix are ALWAYS fat girl angled and duck lipped)and is false in her self confidence…so much so that she does childish things like posting this article on her tumblr/fb to have those same duped followers defend her hurt feelings if anyone dares say anything not praising her.

    • Andrew says:

      Hoo boy, did I ignite a &*%#!! storm with this off-the-cuff little article! I haven’t had so many impassioned comments since I posted an article on the seeming absence of reaction to the 9-11 attacks in science fiction lit. Well, as long as you all keep it clean and reasonably above the belt, I guess I can continue to moderate this slug-fest.

  20. Tess says:

    Wow ya’ll, way to turn a from upside down! Thank you all for shedding some light on an ongoing problem in the plus size community..and everyone’s life: body shaming. Also, Andrew, thanks again. Most of my family is in Laurel, but I also have friends on the coast and I’m glad we all got out okay 🙂

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